Matanong kita, anong hanap mo sa isang partner?
Maganda, gwapo, mayaman, matipuno ang katawan,
makinis ang balat, mahaba ang buhok, o matangkad?
When we think about all these physical attributes
that we look for in a partner, okay lang naman,
walang masama dito, libre naman mangarap ‘di ba?
But you know what I have realized
after X number of years of being married?
As time goes by, hindi pala talaga ganoon
ka-importante ang physical looks.
Dahil kung ito lang ang ating titignan
paano kung kumulubot na ang balat,
makalbo, umikli ang buhok?
Ibig din bang sabihin, aayawan na natin sila?
Because you see, relationships are
MORE THAN THAT.
It has a deeper meaning that we need
to consider when choosing our partner.
Gentlemen, ano ba dapat tayo sa ating
pinakamamahal na asawa o girlfriend?
Ladies, ano ba dapat yung tinitignan natin?
FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT sikreto
(Photo from this Link)
Dapat kaya natin buhayin ang ating
mapapangasawa at ang ating pamilya
at hindi yung nakaasa sa hingi at biyaya lamang.
“Nay, ikaw na muna bahala sa tubig.”
“Dito na lang kami titira para libre upa.”
“Paki abonohan mo naman uli kuryente namin.”
Kung lagi tayo nasasanay sa mga ganito,
ay nako, hindi lang natin pinapabayaan ang
ating pamilya pero kinatatamaran na rin ito.
Masaya sa masaya na makitira,
libre nga naman ang kuryente, tubig,
matrikula ng mga bata, upa, at
nasosolo pa natin ang sweldo natin,
pero my friend, hindi na tayo natututong
gumawa ng paraan para maging
mabuting AMA at ASAWA.
When we decide to get married or if
we have plans soon, dapat
tayo ang gagawa ng paraan at hindi ang iba.
DON’T TREAT THEM LIKE SERVANTS sikreto
(Photo from this Link)
“Oy, timpla mo nga ako ng kape.”
“Naglalaba ka pa rin? Eh bilisan mo naman!”
“Alis muna ko, ikaw na muna bantay sa bahay.”
Ay ay ay… yes they are made to serve their husbands
PERO it’s still about companionship and yung
pagiging sensitive natin sa needs nila.
Huwag natin sila alilain.
Kung nakikita natin silang pagod na,
tulungan naman natin sila.
Kung tingin natin ay hindi na nila kaya
mag-isa ang gawaing bahay, lend a helping hand
or maski words para mapawi ang pagod.
Let them know you care.
Halimbawa:
“Ako na diyan, magpahinga ka na.”
“Bukas na ‘yan, bitawan mo na ‘yan.”
“Ano ang pwede kong gawin?”
It should be a partnership in everything that we do.
Huwag natin sila hayaang nag-iisa at nahihirapan.
EMOTIONALLY INDEPENDENT sikreto
(Photo from this Link)
Have you ever heard of “Mama’s boy”?
- Kaunting problema, sumbong kay Mama.
- May magandang balita, si Mama pa una nakaalam.
- Nagkaroon lang ng issue, takbo kaagad kay Mama.
Sa lahat ng nangyayari sa atin,
dapat si Misis ang unang makakaalam at
kasamang maghahanap ng solusyon.
At hindi lang pagiging mama’s boy
ang tinutukoy ko sa emotional independence ah,
nandito din yung OA ang attachment sa nakaraan
kaya hindi mapigilang magcompare.
“Buti pa sa bahay namin noon, tahimik.”
“Nanay ko nga ‘di ako inuutusan ikaw pa kaya.”
“Sana yung lugar natin parehas nung sa amin.”
“Bakit dati kami wala namang ganyan?”
It’s okay to miss your old life
but remember, we have a new life with them.
We should try to create new and good memories
with our present life.
Hindi dapat tayo nagkukumpara
because it is an insult and we are not
giving our spouse a chance to
build a life with us.
“Huwag hayaang mabuhay ang pamilya sa hingi at asa.
Kaya siguraduhing magsikap at gumawa ng paraan para sa ikagaganda ng buhay ng bawat isa.”
-Chinkee Tan, Filipino Motivational Speaker
THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.
- Nakikitaan mo ba si husband to be ng mga ganito?
- If yes, paano kayo makakapagtulungan?
- Willing ka ba baguhin ang mali para sa iyong pamilya?
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Chinkee Tan is a Wealth Coach, Keynote Speaker, and Best-selling Author on personal finance and wealth management. He has written 16 best-selling books and counting. His mission is to equip millions of Filipinos to be free from financial stress & experience financial freedom.