Ano ang take mo sa forgiveness?
Madali ba para sayo ang magpatawad o ito ay napakahirap?
“Chinkee, bakit?”EXPRESS WHAT YOU FEEL
Bahagi ng tunay na kapatawaran ay ang paglabas ng ating sama ng loob. Ipaalam mo sa taong nakasakit sayo ang nararamdaman mong sakit. Kapag hindi natin ito nagampanan, ang poot at galit ay ninanakaw ang ating kagalakan, kapayapaan at kahit kalusugan.
Hindi manghuhula ang asawa mo, kapatid mo, magulang mo, o kaibigan mo. Maaaring aware nga sila na may nagawa silang mali (but there are times na nakagawa or may nasabi silang nakasakit sa iyo without meaning to) pero iba pa din na manggagaling sayo ang tunay mong saloobin. Baka kasi pag wala kang sinabi sa kanila ay feeling nila okay ka lang. At paano naman sila hihingi ng tawad sayo kung all the while ang alam nila ay okay ka lang with whatever happened?
Be honest with what you feel and express it to the people who have hurt you.
“But what’s in it for me? Kapag ginawa ko yan, papadaliin ko lang ang buhay ng taong nakasakit sa akin once malaman niyang napatawad ko na siya. Hindi ba dapat pagdusahan niya muna ang nagawa niya?”
FORGIVENESS WILL BENEFIT YOU MORE THAN THE OFFENDER
Ang misconception pag dating sa pagpapatawad ay mas makakatulong ang forgiveness dun sa taong nakagawa ng mali more than dun sa taong nasaktan. But it’s actually the other way around.
May mga nakasama ka na bang mga taong bitter? Yung lahat ng outlook sa buhay ay puro negative? Most likely ay di pa niya napapatawad yung taong nakasakit sa kanya. And sa tingin mo sino ang nada-damage niya sa pagiging bitter o negative niya? Yung taong nakasakit ba sa kanya o ang sarili niya mismo?
Kahit gaano ka-healthy living siguro nung taong bitter ay magkakasakit at magkakasakit pa din siya. Naniniwala kasi ako na hindi sa pag kain ng healthy food o pag-exercise lang nabe-base ang healthy lifestyle kundi pati na din sa outlook sa buhay. The more na maging positive ka sa outlook mo sa buhay, the more na magiging healthy ka. And you can start the positive mindset by forgiving the person who has hurt you. In doing so ay hindi mo lang ni-lift sa person yung bigat na dinadala niya na may nasaktan siya, but you are also lifting a huge burden from yourself.
BECAUSE WE ARE ALSO FORGIVEN
Sabi nga sa Biblia, “Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us” (Luke 11:4). Ibig sabihin nito ay lahat tayo ay makasalanan. Lahat tayo ay may pagkukulang. Lahat tayo ay may nasabi, naisip o nagawa na nakasakit sa ating Panginoon. Pero pinatawad Niya tayo. Realizing the huge importance of that fact will shed a light to what we must do—forgive.
Every time na may magawa sa iyo na mali ang iyong kapwa, instead of avoiding the emotion na nafe-feel mo, embrace it. Hindi masama ang maka-feel ng strong emotions such as betrayal or hurt. These are normal reactions kapag may nakasakit sa damdamin mo. But the next step is important. You can choose to respond accordingly by forgiving the person na nakasakit sayo.
Now, it is time for you to decide.
Gusto mo bang maka-move on or do you still want to stay just the way you are?
THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.
Express what you feel para alam ng taong nakasakit sayo ang tunay mong nararamdaman.
Then forgive because you are forgiven.
And remember that forgiveness will benefit you more than the offender.
–Chinkee Tan, Filipino Motivational Speaker
Chinkee Tan is a famous motivational speaker in the Philippines. He specializes in topics such as personal development, building and strengthening relationships and financial management to name a few. To this day, he continues to inspire thousands of people through his books, free business seminars in the Philippines, social media and being invited to be a motivational corporate speaker to different organizations.
Did this article help you be ready to release forgiveness? You can also check these other related articles on living a life full of forgiveness:
Chinkee Tan is a Wealth Coach, Keynote Speaker, and Best-selling Author on personal finance and wealth management. He has written 16 best-selling books and counting. His mission is to equip millions of Filipinos to be free from financial stress & experience financial freedom.