Nahihirapan ka bang isumiundo sa mga sinasabi ng mister mo?
Mas madalas bang nananaig ang kagustuhan mo na gawin kung ano ang gusto mo,
Minsan ba ay nawawalan ka na ng gana sa iyong buhay mag-asawa, dahil parang sunud-sunuran ka na lang sa gusto niya?Bago ang lahat, ito muna ang malaking DISCLAIMER: Hindi applicable itong post na ito kung ang gustong ipagawa ng asawa mo will lead you to commit SIN.
Ang isang kasal ay hindi lamang kontrata between sa inyo ng mister mo na may expiration date. Ang isang kasal ay covenant between you and your husband kung saan may third party involved—si God. That’s why honoring your husband equates to honoring God as well.
Malinaw na malinaw ang command ng Panginoon na makikita sa Bible (Ephesians 5:22): “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”
Bago mag-react ang mga kababaihan, wait! Prrrrrtttt! Prumeno muna tayo. Lilinawin ko lang na ang pag-submit ng mga asawang babae sa kanilang asawang lalaki doesn’t mean that:
1. Wala ng karapatan mag-voice out ng opinion si misis.
2. Di na pwedeng mag-decide si misis.
3. Susundin ang lahat ng decision ni mister (see DISCLAIMER).
Ngayon, let me address yung concerns ng mga wives na nahihirapan sundin ang decision ni mister. Take these two steps para mas maging madali para sa inyo ang pag-submit kay husband: (Pero tandaan na ang context natin ay: ang decision ni mister ay makakabuti para sa pagsasama ninyo o para sa pamilya ninyo, yun nga lang ay di kayo magkatugma ng gusto).
ANALYZE WHERE HE’S COMING FROM
Maaaring ang decision ninyong dalawa ay may valid na points, but have you analyzed why he wants what he wants?
Example, gusto mo ng maliit na bahay dahil di ka komportable na mag-hire kayo ng taga-linis. Gusto mo ikaw mismo ang maglilinis nito kaya mas pabor sa iyo na maliit na bahay ang bibilhin niyo. Gusto mo din ay di na sa mga mamahaling subdivision para di kayo gagastos ng malaki. Kahit pa afford ninyo ni mister ang malaking bahay ay iniisip mo na di yun praktikal.
Si mister naman ay gusto ng malaking bahay. Pero nung nalaman mo yun, tinanong mo ba siya kung bakit? Kung oo, na-analyze mo ba kung ano ang pinaghuhugutan niya? Baka naman kaya niya gusto ng malaking bahay ay dahil gusto niya ng more space para sa quality time ninyong pamilya. Or baka kaya niya gusto sa mamahaling subdivision ay para may peace of mind siya na safe kayong pamilya niya.
Pag na-analyze mong mabuti ang sitwasyon ay magkakaroon ka ng deeper understanding kung bakit yun ang decision ng asawa mo. And as a result, mas magiging madali para sayo na mag-submit sa decision niya.
REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE HONORING GOD, NOT MAN
You can bypass step one but not this second step.
Remember that every time you submit to your husband, you’re not honoring your husband per se. You are honoring God.
Ang asawa mo ay one of the instruments na binigay sayo ni God kung saan pwede mong ipakita ang pagbibigay mo ng karangalan sa Kanya. God is not with you physically, but your husband is. So do what will honor God through your spouse.
Submit to your husband not because your husband deserves it, but because God deserves nothing less than your best.
THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.
Are you having a hard time submitting to your husband’s decision?
Have you analyzed his motives why he wants what he wants?
Do you remind yourself that whenever you submit to your husband, it is not your husband who is honored, but God?
–Chinkee Tan, Filipino Motivational Speaker
Chinkee Tan is a famous motivational speaker in the Philippines. At the same time, he is a husband to his beautiful wife, Nove Ann and a father to three amazing children. He specializes in topics such as personal development, building and strengthening relationships and financial management to name a few. To this day, he continues to inspire thousands of people through his books, free business seminars in the Philippines, social media and being invited to be a motivational corporate speaker to different organizations.
Did you enjoy this article? You can also check on these related posts on marriage:
- DEALING WITH UNSUPPORTIVE SPOUSE
- PERA AT RELASYON
- Honor And Respect Your Spouse
- I’ll Do It My Way
Chinkee Tan is a Wealth Coach, Keynote Speaker, and Best-selling Author on personal finance and wealth management. He has written 16 best-selling books and counting. His mission is to equip millions of Filipinos to be free from financial stress & experience financial freedom.