May kakilala ka bang huling-huli mo na, pero imbis na umamin, ito pa ang ginagawa…
- Nagagalit pa siya para hindi siya madiin.
- Nagpapaawa effect pa para makalusot.
- Naninisi pa ng iba, imbis na umamin.
These are just some of usual things we do to get out from an awkward situation.
Kadalasan itong ginagawa ng mga taong ayaw mapahiya, kagalitan, o masabihan–so this is their way na MAKALUSOT, ika nga.
However, using these techniques are really not advisable and not a good idea. Because if a person keeps on doing this, inilalayo lang nila ang kanilang mga sarili sa totoong sitwasyon.
What are the things that we should avoid doing?
DENIAL
Ayaw nating tanggapin na may nagawa tayong mali or alam nating hindi magiging maganda ang reaksyon nila kaya we make up stories to cover up our mistake.
Pero tandaan natin na the more we deny, the more pressure and stress that we would feel to keep up with our lies. Sooner or later, lalabas din ang katotohanan, buti na tayo ay umamin.
PAGTAAS NG BOSES
Ito yung tinanong ka naman ng maayos but because you feel really (really) guilty, you raise your voice at the person para hindi ka na kulitin at matapos na ang usapan.
This is really common to some kids nowadays and I am saddened by it.
If you’re reading this and you think nakaka-relate ka, you need to stop this way of communicating. Be polite and show some love and respect, para ikaw din ay respetuhin.
REVERSING THE SITUATION
“Hindi naman ako magagalitin, ikaw lang ang nagpapagalit sa akin.”(Weh, di nga!)
“Teka, maiba ako ah, diba ikaw may ginawa ka dati na mas malala pa dito?” (Maski matagal na iyon at ikaw ang topic ngayon)
Ito yung kung ano nakikita mo sa sarili mo na hindi maganda, binabaliktad o ipinapasa mo sa kausap mo para palabasin na may mali din sila at ma distract yung focus from you.
ACTING OUT
I’m sure we’ve all witnessed those people na kapag galit, malungkot, or depressed:
- Binabato ng gamit ang kausap
- Sinusuntok yung dingding
- Iiyak ng iiyak hanggang sa mapagod
Yan ang tinatawag nating “acting out”, wherein instead of saying it to the person concerned or sharing it to someone, we just release our pent up emotions through destructive actions, hanggang sa maging kalmado na uli tayo.
What’s not good about this is that it can be really harmful. Lagi ka kasing naghahanap ng outlet na kapag nasobrahan o hindi napigilan, baka makaisip ka ng more destructive ways just to end what you’re currently feeling.
If you’re caught in these kind of situations, kapatid, you need to be honest and ask for help. If we keep on delaying it, mas lalo lang lalala at lalaki ang problema, dahil tinatakbuhan natin ang mga dapat nating harapin.
THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.
When you’re frustrated, paano mo ito hina-handle?
Nakasakit ka na ba ng tao dahil sa pamamaraan mo?
How can you turn the negative energy into something positive?
Chinkee Tan is a famous motivational speaker in the Philippines. At the same time, he is a husband to his beautiful wife, Nove Ann and a father to three amazing children. He specializes in topics such as personal development, building and strengthening relationships and financial management to name a few. To this day, he continues to inspire thousands of people through his books, free business seminars in the Philippines, social media and being invited to be a motivational corporate speaker to different organizations.
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Chinkee Tan is a Wealth Coach, Keynote Speaker, and Best-selling Author on personal finance and wealth management. He has written 16 best-selling books and counting. His mission is to equip millions of Filipinos to be free from financial stress & experience financial freedom.