Chinkee, I think I am losing interest with my spouse. The feeling is not as strong as before; I am falling out of love. What can I do?
First of all, let us go back to the basics. Let us look at the definition of love. One thing I learned in life according to my mentor Francis Kong, PHILOSOPHY will affect the way you live.
WRONG PHILOSOPHY = WRONG LIVING
RIGHT PHILOSOPHY = RIGHT LIVING
What is your philosophy about love?
Love is blind. Love is like a rosary full of mystery. Love is a feeling that you cannot explain until such time you personally feels it.
In reality, if you build your relationship’s foundation with a wrong philosophy, you will end up with a wrong living.
This is what I’ve learned from my 15 years of marriage. Love is not only about emotional feelings, it must be based on decision, choice and commitment. That’s the reason why when we got married, the minister reminded us that no matter what happens; For richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health; for better or for worst; till death do us part.
What does this mean? Even if you do not like what you are seeing and feeling, you just got to stick and work it out. True love must not be based on comfort or convenience, but it must be based on commitment and choice.
If you only trust your feelings and emotions, there will be days that you will have enough of each other, and you can call it quits. That is the reason why we need to have a change of mind and heart; that we cannot base love on the wrong philosophy. We must base it on the right philosophy in order for us to have the right living.
It is also why you can’t fall out of love. People can fall off buildings and into man holes; but not out of love. Love is a choice; to love the person no matter who they are or what they are. Love is a decision; to keep the promise you made no matter how tough the situation maybe. Love is a commitment; to work it out no matter what you are going through. Love needs hard work, patience and persistence. Love never gives up.
THNK. REFLECT. APPLY.
Do you think it is time for you to change your life’s philosophy?
How about your way of thinking? How about you?
How do you define love? Is your love built on the right or wrong philosophy?
Do you think it is time to change the way you view love in life?
In my next blog, I would like to show you one of the best ways to rekindle the love you have for each other.
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Chinkee Tan is a Wealth Coach, Keynote Speaker, and Best-selling Author on personal finance and wealth management. He has written 16 best-selling books and counting. His mission is to equip millions of Filipinos to be free from financial stress & experience financial freedom.