SHY KA BA?

Have you ever experienced being laughed at, o yung mapahiya kapag nasa harapan ng klase, mga kaopisina, o sa maraming tao?

Ikaw ba yung takot magsalita o kumilos ng malaya at normal? Yung tipong bigla ka nalang maba-blanko at biglang hindi maalala ang sasabihin at gagawin mo, sabay pagpapawisan ka na ng malamig, may pakiramdam na may butterfly sa iyong tiyan, at manginginig sa nerbyos?

Eh yung hirap makitungo sa iba kasi naco-conscious ka parati na baka mali ang gawin at sabihin mo?

Kung sumagot ka ng matinding “OO!”, SHYNESS o pagkamahiyain ang tawag doon.

In my seminar, “SPEAK & GROW RICH” I was asked the question,“Chinkee, bakit parang effortless ka na tumayo sa harapan o makipagusap maski sa ibang taong hindi naman halos mo kilala?” Madaming dahilan pero, allow me to sight some reasons:

#1- Maaring hindi tayo masyado na expose sa tao. We grew up na hindi naman tayo ang nasa limelight o hindi tayo nabuild up— laging pamilya o kapitbahay lang ang nakilala at nakamulatan natin.

#2- We were humiliated before. Na kaya tayo takot, iniisip natin na “Nako baka mali nanaman ang masabi ko o galaw, mapahiya nanaman ako”. There’s a sense of FEAR na hindi na natin nakalimutan dahil naging trauma na ito sa atin.

#3- Bullying. Maaring naging biktima na tayo nito dati, na sa sobrang dalas tayong pinagmamalupitan, you already lost your self-confidence kasi bumaba na ang tingin mo sa sarili mo; ang tingin mo nalang kasi, katiting kalang sa mata ng iba.

Lahat ng sinabi ko na mga dahilan ay pinagdaanan ko. Mahilig ako mag-isa at piling-pili lang ang mga friends ko. Madalas din ako mapahiya lalo na sa recitation sa school at hindi nawawala na nabully din ako. I was given the name of “PANDAK PIRATE.” Sakit nun, pandak na, pirate pa!

So what do you need to do now? How can you overcome your shyness ng hindi ka nahihirapan at napapag-iwanan if you need to deal with people?

STRENGTHEN YOUR SELF IMAGE!
Be proud of your skills, talents, and abilities; dahil sa sarili mong paniniwala magsisimula ang pag gain mo ng self-confidence at hindi sa ibang tao. Sabi nga, don’t be too busy comparing yourself to others; instead, think of ways to improve what has been given to you. Next, BE YOURSELF! Hindi mo naman kailangang magpanggap para magustuhan ka ng ibang tao, we are all created unique, use it to your advantage.

PRACTICE! Mag practice ka sa harap ng salamin or start by mingling with other people, from there matututunan mong makipag-usap sa iba paunti unti ng hindi ka ninenerbyos.

FOCUS ON THE MOMENT. Kadalasan kasi inuunahan natin ang sitwasyon by thinking na “baka pag sinabi o ginawa ko to, mapahiya lang ako” NO! Kaya tayo nawawala sa momentum kasi nangunguna tayo, just enjoy the flow of the conversation or situation and just do your best.

Remember these four basic steps at magugulat nalang kayo on how these things will improve and boost your confidence in ability to deal with people.

THINK. REFLECT. APPLY

Is your self esteem low because you can’t seem to get along and talk to people without feeling nervous?
Do you want to do something about this?
What are your skills and talents that you can be proud of?

Chinkee Tan is a famous motivational speaker in the Philippines. He specializes in topics such as personal development, dealing with relationships within family, friends, work and other people and financial management techniques to name a few. He continues to inspire thousands of people through his books, free business seminars in the Philippines and being a motivational corporate speaker to different organizations.

Did this article inspire you to be better? Do you want more? You can check out these other related posts:

•  HAVE YOU EVER FELT WORTHLESS
• BUHAY NA WAGI SERIES: BE BOLD AND TAKE RISKS
• What Kids Can Teach Us About Shyness
• Bakit Ba Ako Nahihiya?